Life Goggles and the Emotional Maturity You Didn't Know You Needed
Always feel attacked? Angry when someone corrects you? Pet peeve or deeper dive?
SEMPER SANA
Annie Oakley-Baker
7/8/20252 min read
🪞 Why Feeling "Attacked" Might Be Your Ego—and Not Everyone Else
Let’s talk about one of the most common but least discussed barriers to growth: that itchy, defensive feeling when someone gives you feedback... and your brain immediately flips the emergency table.
You know the moment:
Someone asks why you did it that way
Or offers a suggestion with zero malice
Or points out something you missed—just doing their job
And suddenly? Boom. They’re the enemy. You’re offended. The relationship has a crack. They've "crossed a line."
But did they... really?
💣 The Ego Reflex: Not Everyone’s Trying to Attack You
Before therapy, I wore what I now call my unrealistic life goggles. If someone criticized my work, they were toxic. If someone corrected me, they were out to "ride my ass." If someone questioned my methods, they didn’t respect me.
Spoiler alert: I was wrong. Most of the time? These people weren’t trying to hurt me. They were:
Trying to help
Doing their job
Offering a perspective I didn’t want to hear
It wasn’t an attack. It was feedback. My ego just couldn’t take it.
🧠Humility Isn’t Just About Being “Nice”
It’s about emotional maturity. About accepting the idea that you don’t know everything, and you might need to recalibrate.
If every bit of advice feels like a personal assault, that’s not empowerment—it’s a trauma reflex wrapped in insecurity.
True humility is:
Letting someone say you messed up—and not retaliating
Accepting help without needing to prove yourself first
Rejecting feedback you don’t agree with—but with grace
Choosing growth over defensiveness
🧱 Operating on the Emotional Tier of a Teenager
Harsh truth: If your self-worth collapses every time someone tells you you're wrong… You’re not being attacked. You’re being challenged. And your reaction might be stuck in emotional adolescence.
At some point, we all have to grow past:
“They just don’t like me.”
“People are always picking on me.”
“I don’t need advice—I know what I’m doing.”
Because here’s the truth most grown folks won't say out loud: If your ego can't withstand a correction, you're not ready for collaboration.
🛠️ The Growth Shift: Changing Your Life Goggles
I learned—through therapy, tears, and a thousand swallowed comebacks—that feedback isn’t failure. It’s an invitation. To improve. To connect. To humble myself.
And when I adjusted my internal goggles? I stopped feeling attacked. I started listening. And I got better—at everything.
đź’› Final Word: Grow Up, Gently but Firmly
You don’t have to accept every opinion that comes your way. But you do have to get honest about how you respond.
Because if every disagreement sends you into rebellion mode? That’s not power. That’s fear in a hoodie.
And it’s time to outgrow it.
